this song hits a LITTLE too close to home ..

Hello (hello Loretta) darlin' I knew it was you
(Loretta there's something I just got to tell you)
Oh please tell me what to do
(I don't really know how to say this but I want to tell you that I)
You gave me the will to go on as soon as I picked up the phone
(No no you don't understand Loretta I'm trying to tell you that I)
The talk is around that we're through (yeah I know I've heard it too)
Oh darling tell me what to do
(But that's just it that's what I'm trying to tell you I wanna tell you that)
I knew you'd tell me they were wrong as soon as I picked up the phone
(Oh but it's true they're not wrong)
Oh no (I'm sorry Loretta) oh no I can't believe that it's true
(I'm sorry Loretta I'm really really sorry)
Oh no oh no I can't believe that we're through
(I know you know that I never thought it would come to this)
You tell me it's over and done
(I really thought that I loved you and you know that)
You say that you've had all your fun
(You've just got to believe me that I never meant to hurt you)
But I can't believe you've been gone
(This is the hardest thing that I've ever had to do and it hurts me too)
As soon as I hang up the phone (yeah I'll be gone)
As soon as I hang up the phone (goodbye Loretta)

heartless.

I gave you everything I had,

until I had nothing left.

And still you act as if

I'm still a burden.

Don't bother.

No, I'm not depressed all the time.
I'm lost, and I'm hurting. You might understand that more if you took the time to actually LISTEN to what I have to say, or made an effort to understand. But you obviously don't, and maybe even if you did, you might not have the damn maturity level to know how I'm feeling. Just because I listen to slower music, and not rap, doesn't mean it's all depressing. Honestly, you're supposed to be my "best friend".

nothing unusual, nothing strange, close to nothing at all ..

Could you be a little less inconsiderate, and a little more understanding?

letter to you.

You linger. You're always lingering. It's as simple as a scent that I'll pick off someone, or seeing an item that causes you to instantly light up my memory. This sorrow holds me as tight as you once did, you know. Though it's considerably less enjoyable. The ghost of you waits in the shadows, waits until I'm unsuspecting, then it unleashes itself. You're haunting my dreams. So much, that sleeping has become a burden. Was there ever a time, when you believed in us? Was I as naive as you'd like to make me out to be? If I honestly thought it would make a difference, make you take me back, I'd tell you all of this myself. Now I know though, that there is nothing that could possibly get through to you, and I've realized this after I let down my wall of hope, held up by sheer denial. There are times now, where I feel so lost in things that are so unfamiliar. It makes me feel a total helplessness, so much that I just want something I know back. If it were for the better, I wouldn't feel so hopeless. You said it'll take time, but there doesn't seem like there is nearly enough time in the world to heal the wound you left behind. You were my protection, my goal, and the love of my life so far. That includes all people, places, things, hobbies, or foods. It wouldn't be too far of a stretch to throw life itself into that list. I feel weathered, and old. I feel like I know too much, though all the wrong things. You'll never know this, because you'll never lay eyes on this if I can help it. Even if you happen to stumble across this, you may read it, then continue whatever you were doing without a second thought about it. Figures.

imagine.

imagine everything away.
it might make little sense,
but it makes all the difference.
imagine me away.
that i could be gone from you,
and from me.
i wish i could be gone.

imagine that away.

i think i've lost my mind.

you once were my asylum
now i've resorted to a different sort
of the word.
these white walls
won't hold me like you did.
endless halls,
have proven they're frozen.
these people, they think i'm crazy.
but i'm just a little bit hazy
from the drugs they're injecting me with.

stakes and fairytales.

your body tells me the strangest tales,
though your mouth remains shut, because the truth impales.
there it will stay, hidden behind your eyes,
though i know you can't bare to voice the lies.

i promise you, i will waste away.

i was thinking that if you know a way out, then i'd like to go with you ..

my plastic smile is convincing,
my alive body may assure,
but don't be so easily decieved,
i'm really dead on the inside.

i'll paint another face
and i'll perfect my actions
until i have a flawless design,
there will be no mistakes this time.

when i pretend, what fault can i make?

my lullaby.

i've become so familiar with the taste of salt,
catching your tears on my lips.
you're the most beautiful at your weakest,
it takes my breath away.
i can't speak, so i'll sing to you
because you are my lullaby,
a dream so sweet
softly whispering through my sleep.
yes, i will sing for you,
if you'll only listen.

hungry, hungry for you.

if everything's the way it should be
then why, am i still hungry?
even to taste your sweet apathy
would be heavenly, only god knows
why i come crawling back every time.
but here now without you,
i'm speachless, my tongue is blistered
from the heated words we spoke
to burn each other
and i still miss you,
though i know i shouldn't.

artificial love.

now the excitement's over
you've taken everything from me
that you wanted.
don't you see?
the pain, seering through my veins
and it's your fault.
i won't take credit for anything
that i say or do anymore
because this is not who i am
or who i intended on being.
you control me,
with your fingertips
full of malice
and artificial love.

lost.

without you, i'm present but so vacant
i faught for you, and i was patient
but i lost myself along the way.
i'm an image of who i once was,
a ghost of the person i used to be.
but no longer, it's killing me.
i've got to find my way back.

twinkle twinkle

I'm going to miss the moonlight
on your body, tonight.
Glistening, I'm listening
But your body is telling me lies
and your emotions are untruthful.
You reach out for me,
and grab a handful of nothing.
But I still feel the fire ablaze
from your touch.

my secrets.

* I'm punishing myself for not being enough to keep you from cheating on me, or to keep you at all.
* I wish you'd go out of your way for me, just once ..
* Every time you leave, I'm afraid it'll be the last time I'll see you and I won't be able to tell you that I love you.

you lied ..

"Amy, I wrote this for not as a poem or as a song, but as an expression of how I feel about this .. us .. you <3. As I write this, an image of you forever stands out. I am blessed to have you in my life. As I look outside I see a beautiful world, but I ask myself, would it be a beautiful world if you did not inhabit it? The answer is no. I can't start to imagine a world where you do not live. Even on a stormy day you brighten my life with your luminous glow. How does one even begin to describe his love for the woman of his dreams? The best way I can think of is my love for you is infinitely sized, stretching past the galaxies, past it all. I don't just love who you are, but how you do the things you do, like say "I love you", and the world stops for just a moment or the way you look at me, so nonjudgmental, so loving. Just being around you is a dream come true, only with the reality of your essence. What I am trying to say in this, simply put, is that I love you Amy Rose, with everything I've got and so much more."

eet, eet, eet.

everyday it gets harder to wake up

knowing you won't be here

and my knees are becoming a familiar place to fall.

i'm scared to death

and it has me always

running into walls.

i never thought i'd have to fall apart

to make you see

what condition i'm in.

you're the only thing that makes sense, just ignore this present tense.

i really wish i couldn't relate to this so much ..

never thought not having you here now would hurt so much.

i'm afraid to tell you,
afraid you'll let me fall
like you once did, years ago.
i miss you, you know?
every single day.
i bet you never knew,
but i do.

you're not alone, i'll be right beside you forevermore.

i'm so afraid for you. i wish so badly i could help you

but that's not my job, that's hers.