this song hits a LITTLE too close to home ..

Hello (hello Loretta) darlin' I knew it was you
(Loretta there's something I just got to tell you)
Oh please tell me what to do
(I don't really know how to say this but I want to tell you that I)
You gave me the will to go on as soon as I picked up the phone
(No no you don't understand Loretta I'm trying to tell you that I)
The talk is around that we're through (yeah I know I've heard it too)
Oh darling tell me what to do
(But that's just it that's what I'm trying to tell you I wanna tell you that)
I knew you'd tell me they were wrong as soon as I picked up the phone
(Oh but it's true they're not wrong)
Oh no (I'm sorry Loretta) oh no I can't believe that it's true
(I'm sorry Loretta I'm really really sorry)
Oh no oh no I can't believe that we're through
(I know you know that I never thought it would come to this)
You tell me it's over and done
(I really thought that I loved you and you know that)
You say that you've had all your fun
(You've just got to believe me that I never meant to hurt you)
But I can't believe you've been gone
(This is the hardest thing that I've ever had to do and it hurts me too)
As soon as I hang up the phone (yeah I'll be gone)
As soon as I hang up the phone (goodbye Loretta)

heartless.

I gave you everything I had,

until I had nothing left.

And still you act as if

I'm still a burden.

Don't bother.

No, I'm not depressed all the time.
I'm lost, and I'm hurting. You might understand that more if you took the time to actually LISTEN to what I have to say, or made an effort to understand. But you obviously don't, and maybe even if you did, you might not have the damn maturity level to know how I'm feeling. Just because I listen to slower music, and not rap, doesn't mean it's all depressing. Honestly, you're supposed to be my "best friend".

nothing unusual, nothing strange, close to nothing at all ..

Could you be a little less inconsiderate, and a little more understanding?

letter to you.

You linger. You're always lingering. It's as simple as a scent that I'll pick off someone, or seeing an item that causes you to instantly light up my memory. This sorrow holds me as tight as you once did, you know. Though it's considerably less enjoyable. The ghost of you waits in the shadows, waits until I'm unsuspecting, then it unleashes itself. You're haunting my dreams. So much, that sleeping has become a burden. Was there ever a time, when you believed in us? Was I as naive as you'd like to make me out to be? If I honestly thought it would make a difference, make you take me back, I'd tell you all of this myself. Now I know though, that there is nothing that could possibly get through to you, and I've realized this after I let down my wall of hope, held up by sheer denial. There are times now, where I feel so lost in things that are so unfamiliar. It makes me feel a total helplessness, so much that I just want something I know back. If it were for the better, I wouldn't feel so hopeless. You said it'll take time, but there doesn't seem like there is nearly enough time in the world to heal the wound you left behind. You were my protection, my goal, and the love of my life so far. That includes all people, places, things, hobbies, or foods. It wouldn't be too far of a stretch to throw life itself into that list. I feel weathered, and old. I feel like I know too much, though all the wrong things. You'll never know this, because you'll never lay eyes on this if I can help it. Even if you happen to stumble across this, you may read it, then continue whatever you were doing without a second thought about it. Figures.

imagine.

imagine everything away.
it might make little sense,
but it makes all the difference.
imagine me away.
that i could be gone from you,
and from me.
i wish i could be gone.

imagine that away.

i think i've lost my mind.

you once were my asylum
now i've resorted to a different sort
of the word.
these white walls
won't hold me like you did.
endless halls,
have proven they're frozen.
these people, they think i'm crazy.
but i'm just a little bit hazy
from the drugs they're injecting me with.